The Wildest Stories from Kingdom Come 2: Delivering Mayhem and Laughter

Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2: A Hilarious Medley of Absurd Side Quests

Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 isn't just a brutally realistic medieval RPG; it's a comedic masterpiece of unpredictable events. The following recounts some of the most ludicrous side quests encountered during my Bohemian escapades. (Spoiler-free, focusing solely on the quirky adventures.)

Table of Contents:

• Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song
• Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern
• Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog
• Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price
• Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies
• Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out

Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song

Želejov, a charming town boasting a bathhouse and fighting arena, is home to two indolent troubadours dreaming of Bohemian musical domination. Their ambition, however, lacks funding, instruments, and a coherent artistic vision.

Image: ensigame.com

Henry, ever the helpful soul, embarks on a quest to aid these aspiring artists. This involves lute theft (risking arrest and reputational damage), acquiring sheep gut strings, and even hauling sacks for debt-ridden bards who deem such tasks beneath their genius.

After countless errands, the troubadours are finally equipped. Their reward? A soul-crushingly boring song celebrating Henry's mundane achievements (theft, sheep butchery, and bag-carrying). The locals cringe, Henry facepalms, and I roar with laughter.

Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern

Remember those lute strings? They require crafting by Vojtěch, a drunken hunter who encountered wolves and climbed a tree, resulting in a leg injury. The intended outcome involves rescuing him, saving his horse, and assisting his sobriety. In return, he becomes a helpful ally.

But what if you deliver him directly to the tavern?

Image: ensigame.com

I chose this path, carrying the disgruntled Vojtěch through forests and swamps. His reaction? He was furious, cursing my idiocy and limping off. Our next encounter yielded only a grudging offer of a view from behind his shack.

Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog

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The Polovtsians, responsible for Henry's family's demise, were found causing trouble in a tavern. My initial rage quickly dissipated upon discovering their surprisingly amiable nature. Soon, I was matchmaking, drinking, and singing bizarre songs with them.

Then, a philosophical dog interrupted, lecturing me on life's purpose and challenging me to a lake swim ("Don't Drown!"). The ensuing hilarity was unforgettable.

Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price

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After mastering stealth and burglary, a single failed heist turned me into Bohemia's most wanted. A witness saw me, and despite talking my way out of immediate arrest, my flashy accessories and lingering stench gave me away. The game's attention to detail is astounding.

Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies

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A stolen horse, a sleeping gypsy horse trader (Mikolaj), and a runaway steed later, I learned a valuable lesson: even minor escapades become hilarious misadventures in Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2. Mikolaj's leisurely breakfast only added to the comedic timing.

Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out

Image: ensigame.com

These are just glimpses into the game's unique charm. Every decision, however insignificant, creates unexpected consequences. The commitment to realism and immersion makes every playthrough a unique and hilarious journey. Bohemia awaits!